Born in Port Elizabeth, I spent the first two years of my life on a farm outside of a town high on Volkswagen fumes.
One day, while asleep in my cot in our little house, a lesser spotted Milk Monkey climbed through an open window and snatched me from my cradle. By the time my mom got to the cot I was long gone, blissfully suckling on the teat of one of my captors.
The next few years were happy ones, spent running around naked, looking for ticks, killing giant Cape Cobras with my bare hands, fleeing from rabid bush pig and searching for monkey lurv, which to this day eludes me.
Then, one fateful Tuesday morning, man showed up, took me from the wild and introduced me to a QWERTY keyboard and Google. It changed my life and doubled my output.
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